Love Me Harder
by Nirvana19
Summary: Short One Shot set after 5x05 :)


**A/N: Hello all. **

**Well, what can I say about that episode? **

**Is there another word that is bigger than disappointed? I honestly don't know where this season is going. The fact that they made Lauren the clown of the day, was very unfair. And then to put Tamsin and Bo together, if anyone should have been Bo's human present it should have been Lauren. **

**Tamsin and Bo just don't make sense to me, I don't dislike the characters. I actually enjoy Tamsin, her attitude and the way she carries herself. But she seems more like a good friend more than anything else. I also think that it meant a lot more to Tamsin than it did to Bo. She is clearly falling in love with her, I just wish I knew what Bo was thinking.**

**At this point, all I can do is hope that Lauren will at least get a happy ending when this is all over. She deserves it more than anyone.**

**Anyway, enjoy this One Shot. It says everything that I wish would happen, ups and downs. Heartbreak and laughter. Oh well, maybe one day…**

**Enjoy**

…**.**

**Clubhouse (Bo's Bedroom)**

Waking up next to Tamsin was beyond strange, she and Bo had always had a rivalry. But the succubus never thought it would go any further than that. Now it had. As if her love life was complicated enough already. Bo could tell that the Valkyrie saw this as more than just a birthday present, but that didn't stop her from unwrapping the gift. And then she opened up about her grievances, about the fact that she was born in Hell and that her father was Hedes.

The succubus found that Tamsin was the only one that understood her, she had met Hedes when he hired her to find Bo. She said that she didn't remember much about him, only the fact that he was terrifying.

Talking about it helped, and to know that Tamsin had gone through something similar was comforting. Bo was so scared that her father was going to use her for something horrible. She couldn't live with herself if she ended up hurting the people she loved. She didn't know what this thing was with Tamsin, she just knew that it felt nice to be with someone.

But this was also her biggest problem, Dyson loved her and because of his love he would never move on. But the brunette didn't love him like that anymore, it had been too long since the last time she felt anything romantic for him. Even when she would use him to heal, it was all physical. Nothing remotely romantic about it, at least not for her.

And then there was Lauren.

How to describe what she felt for Lauren, was not an easy task. They had been through a lot together, and even though she had been in a relationship with Dyson. It ended as soon as it began, it was barely a relationship. But with Lauren, **that** was a proper relationship. They went out on dates, to the movies, out for dinner. Stayed over each other's houses, and not to mention the pet names. Bo **did** love Lauren, even after everything that was one thing that never wavered in her mind.

But now she had slept with Tamsin, knowing that it meant more to the Valkyrie than it did for her. She didn't know what she felt exactly. She just knew she had to figure it out. Bo quietly got up from the bed, pushing the sheet off of her naked body and quickly grabbing her kimono. She needed a drink, a strong one. The brunette walked down the stairs as quietly as possible, Tamsin normally slept like the dead so she didn't know why she was bothering to be careful.

Two vodka shots in and Bo still hadn't come to a conclusion. Why was this so hard? You either loved someone, or you didn't. Why was it taking her so long to make up her mind? She thought it over some more, thinking that maybe it was because of the fact that Lauren was human. Bo loved Lauren for her humanity, she resonated with it. Because deep down she would have liked to have had the chance to be human.

To get one life, and when it ends it ends.

She couldn't feed from Lauren, well she could but she didn't want to in fear of hurting her. Healing through sex didn't last long, and wasn't strong enough to heal her wounds. She had learnt that the hard way already. She didn't want to be with Lauren if it meant sharing herself with another, because even though the doctor would say she was okay with it. Bo knew that deep down, her heart was braking. She knew how much it killed Lauren that she wasn't enough for her.

And no matter how true that statement was, Lauren was **more** than enough in **so many** other ways. In her devotion, her love and her support that she gave to Bo. And the fact that she accepted her for what she was, was incredible. The brunette had never witnessed so much maturity from one person, which made her realise that she had a lot of growing up to do. Lauren was willing to share the person she loved with other people, just to stay in the relationship. She gave a new meaning to the word selfless.

The brunette was in the middle of drinking her next shot when the front door opened, Lauren walked in every so gracefully. Taking Bo's breath away as soon as she caught her eye. The blonde was holding a bottle or wine, and knowing Lauren it was probably expensive. "Hey" she smiled stepping into the kitchen.

"Hi… What are you doing here?" Bo didn't mean to sound rude, it was just that she thought that Lauren would have been busy in the clinic. Especially with the three eye less Oracles.

"I just thought I would come by, and give you this…" the blonde smiled handing the wine to her ex. Bo looked at the label, like she thought. It was a very expensive brand. "… It's not a cake but, it was all I could manage on short notice" she said.

"It's great, thank you" the brunette smiled, placing the bottle on the kitchen table. "How is Cassie doing?" Bo asked. "She's stable, I've repaired most of the tissue damage but… She is officially blind. I wish there was more I could do" the blonde said sadly, unfortunately due to the severity of Cassie's injuries. Lauren couldn't do much.

"It's not your fault Lauren, you're doing everything that you can…" Bo said touching her arm, there it was. That touch, the surge of electricity that coursed through her every time they came close. Just like the very first day they met. "… We just have to figure out who did this to her, and stop them from hurting anyone else" she added.

"That's the thing Bo, Cassie woke up before I left the clinic. I asked her what happened to her, and if she remembered who took her…" Lauren started.

"What did she say? Who removed her eyes?" Bo asked, she wanted to know who it was.

"… **She** did" the blonde said.

"What? I don't understand" the brunette shook her head, why would Cassie take her own eyes out? It didn't make any sense. "I don't know exactly why, all she said was that she had to make the pain stop. I think she must have envisioned something and it must have freaked her out… You can talk to her yourself once she's calmed down a bit… I'm really sorry about today, it's probably not the birthday you imagined" the blonde smiled.

Bo laughed, "No, it definitely wasn't that's for sure… But you have nothing to be sorry for, if anything I should be sorry… You were unlucky all day because of me" she said. Lauren really didn't want to relive this day, she had spent hours trying to get the cake frosting out of her hair. And then there was the bug that she swallowed.

"Not because of you, because of that damn cat" Lauren laughed.

"Well, it's all over now…" The brunette smiled meeting her ex-girlfriend's eyes. She didn't know why but every time she looked at her. She felt like the world fell away. What did that mean? Both of them remained speechless, just staring at each other. Sometimes they did all the talking this way. Lauren noticed that the succubus seemed a little out of touch with herself.

"Are you okay Bo? You seem a little, far away" Lauren said.

"Yeah I'm fine, it's just been a long day I guess" the brunette smiled. She knew how much Lauren worried. She didn't want to add to her plate. The doctor knew Bo better than that, she could tell when the succubus was being evasive. She stepped forward a little, standing inches from the brunette. "I know that we haven't been that close lately but, I am here for you if you need anything" Lauren said, her words so sincere.

Bo's heart skipped a beat, being this close to the blonde was very unnerving. They hadn't been together that way in a while. The brunette found herself leaning in.

"… Bo? You ready for Birthday Sex Part 2?" Tamsin yelled walking into the living room wearing nothing but a bed sheet.

They both pulled a part, Lauren didn't even look at Tamsin. She should have known that this would end up happening. Maybe her string of bad luck hadn't ended quite yet. She bowed her head and gave a small laugh. Earlier when Tamsin was spouting how she and Bo had gotten closer, she paid no attention. But now, her mind was clouded. Maybe Bo did feel something for the Valkyrie.

She had just come out of one Triangle, she didn't want to jump into another. She wondered what the hell she was fighting for anymore. Did Bo even love her? Did she ever? "I think that's my cue to leave…" She said turning around only to be stopped by Bo's hand on her arm.

"No, Lauren! You don't have to…" The brunette said, nothing but remorse showing from her expression.

Lauren pulled her hand away, nodding. "**Yes**, I do… Happy Birthday Bo" she said before leaving in a hurry.

"What's up her ass?" Tamsin asked, not caring what she had interrupted. Bo closed her eyes and exhaled. She saw the heartbreak in the doctor's eyes. The brunette quickly made her way to the stairs, "Not now Tamsin! I have to go after her…" She said running past her roommate. She needed to throw some clothes on and go after Lauren so she could explain.

Tamsin followed her, still holding the sheet to her body. "Why are you going after her? She's a big girl, she can take care of herself" the blonde said.

Bo went straight for her closet, grabbing the first thing she saw and throwing it on. "I need to explain…" She said pulling the zip up on her leather pants. "Explain what? That you had a rockin' birthday snack? Who cares what she thinks—" The loud slam of the succubus' closet door cut Tamsin off.

"I CARE!" Bo yelled. "I'm sorry okay, I just have to go…" The brunette said grabbing her jacket and leaving the room. Also leaving a quiet Tamsin to her thoughts.

**Lauren's Condo**

As soon as she got through the door, she went straight for the bottle of whiskey she kept on top of the fridge. She felt stupid, and embarrassed. To think that someone like Bo could ever want to be with her. Made her stupid in her own eyes. The blonde didn't feel like grabbing a glass, so she just took a big swig from the bottle. Enjoying the pain of the liquid as it burned her throat. She didn't really want to think about it anymore, so she just went upstairs and got ready for bed.

Changing into some sweats and an old tank top.

After she got changed, Lauren laid down on her bed. Staring up at the ceiling, she wanted to fall asleep. But all she could picture was Tamsin in that sheet. Did that mean that they were a couple now? Or on their way to becoming one? Why did this hurt so damn much? She and Bo weren't together anymore, they hadn't been in a while. So why did it bother her?

Because despite trying to get over her, Lauren still loved her. And there was nothing she could do to change that fact.

Lauren closed her eyes, hoping that if she kept them like that for long enough that she was finally succumb to sleep. Then suddenly, she heard a door open downstairs. She groaned in annoyance, she really didn't need an assassin trying to kill her right now. Her day had gone bad enough. Couldn't they just cut her a break?

The blonde got up from her bed as she heard footsteps coming closer to her bedroom door. She grabbed a small knife that Dyson had given her, their training had been going rather well. She had moved on from throwing stars to hand knifes. The wolf had taught her how to deliver a damaging blow, and she had a working knowledge of where all of the severe arteries were in the human body. Lauren walked to her door, putting her back to the wall as the door opened. It was dark so she couldn't see clearly.

She striked, bringing the knife up only for someone to grab her wrist. "You really gonna kill me on my birthday?" Bo asked as a joke. Lauren focused her tired eyes on her ex, seeing her smile. What was there to smile about? She better not be expecting one back. The blonde wasn't really in the smiley kind of mood.

Lauren put her hand down, and walking over to her nightstand to put the knife down. "How did you get in?" she asked.

Bo could already sense her hostility. She didn't blame her. "The front door was unlocked, that's not like you" the brunette said knowing that her ex always locked the door before bed. "Yeah, well… I'm tired" Lauren said.

"Tired? Or angry?" Bo asked.

Lauren sighed, "I'm not angry Bo… You have a right to sleep with whoever you want, I'm fine. You shouldn't have bothered coming here" she said. "That would be totally believable, if you hadn't said in that tone" the brunette said.

"And what tone would that be?" the blonde said in frustration, turning to face her ex.

"That tone right there!" the brunette said pointing to her. "Look, Lauren… I'm sorry if what you saw upset you. I didn't know that you were coming by" she said. "And what would you have done if you did, hide Tamsin in the closet?" the blonde asked.

"Don't be like that" Bo said. The last thing she wanted to do was argue with her.

"Like what? Upset? Well I'm sorry Bo, do you think it's easy for me to see you with other people?" Lauren asked angrily. It was all coming out now, and she couldn't stop it. "How come you never said anything?" the brunette asked. "How can I say something without coming off as a jealous, clinging ex? I say I'm okay with it because that's what it takes to keep you in my life" the blonde said.

"I will always be in your life" Bo said, she would never leave.

"No you won't… I have at best, another 60 years of my life left to live. And by the time that is over, you will still be you… _**'Always'**_ is a word that doesn't apply to us" the blonde had been wanting to get out for a while now. Lauren walked over to her bed and laid down on her back, looking up at her ceiling again. She wanted to cry, but she didn't have the energy.

Bo didn't know what to say, she never knew how much being human in their world bothered her. And it killed her to see the blonde upset. The brunette took off her jacket, throwing it on a chair in the corner of the room. She then made her way over to the bed, taking her boots off and laying on her back next to Lauren. "I had no idea you felt that way" she said turning her head to look at her.

"Yeah, well…" the blonde sighed.

Bo thought maybe she should try making her feel better, she knew things about Lauren. That was thanks to their relationship, when they were together Bo picked up a few things when she was around her. Things she liked and things she didn't like. What made her happy and what didn't. The succubus turned onto her side, watching as Lauren kept her gaze looking to the ceiling.

"Do you remember, all the times you would come in late from the lab. And I would be here waiting for you?" she asked. Lauren turned her head, looking at the brunette with tired eyes before giving a nod. "I seem to recall the only thing that made you de-stress was a cuddle" she smiled.

Lauren couldn't help but laugh, she was supposed to be mad at her. And yet she always had a way of making her giggle. The brunette wasn't wrong though, Lauren would come home from a long day at work. And see Bo waiting for her, but all Lauren wanted to do was sleep. So Bo would hold her close until she fell asleep. It was one of the things in their relationship that she cherished.

"I don't think that's going to work this time" the blonde said.

Bo opened her arms, "You won't know until you try…" she said. Lauren sighed before scooting closer to the succubus, resting her head underneath Bo's chin. The brunette wrapped her arms around her, holding her gently. "What's wrong with us?" Lauren asked in a whisper.

"I don't know, maybe we are just stupid…" Bo said, she didn't know why this always happened to them. They cared about each other a lot, so why couldn't they figure this thing out. "… And for the record, there is nothing going on between me and Tamsin. It was just a one-time thing" the succubus said. How could she feel something for Tamsin, when Lauren was like this? She took importance.

"Maybe there should be…" Bo pulled back, bringing the blonde's face up to hers.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"… She can heal you, you can feed off of her. And she will be around for as long as you will, she can give you everything that I can't" the blonde said sadly. Bo didn't need to think about her next answer, it came naturally. "You're right. But, there is just one problem…" she said leaning in for a gentle kiss. The blonde grabbed the succubus' writs as her hands were holding Lauren's face.

"… She's not you" Bo whispered pulling away.

Lauren didn't know how to respond to that, she knew that Bo was being sincere. She could tell. But she didn't know what this meant for them. Nothing was ever easy with them. "I don't know where we go from here but, I need you to know… that I do love you" the brunette whispered looking into her ex's eyes.

"I love you too… why isn't that enough?" the blonde asked. It should be, that should be the only thing that mattered. But somehow, things intervened.

"I dunno… But it's enough for tonight" Bo said kissing her on the forehead and pulling her close again. Lauren felt calmer now, she was still upset. But she found herself falling to sleep in the succubus' arms, just like she had so many times before.

Whatever happened between them next, they needed to be honest with each other. Lauren did want to hold Bo back, she didn't want to stop her from embracing her succubus nature. She just hated that she couldn't be what the brunette needed.

Bo also needed to be more sensitive when it came to Lauren, she needed to think before she did something. Because somehow, she always ended up upsetting her. And hated seeing her like that.

Loving Lauren wasn't the problem, she just needed to love her a little harder.

_**FIN**_

…**.**

**A/N: Wow! I feel ten times better now. **


End file.
